


Catharsis

by leechmaster



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Shin Monshou no Nazo | Fire Emblem: New Mystery of the Emblem
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Gen, References to Depression, Sad, like. really sad, tbh this was just one big vent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 13:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14213775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leechmaster/pseuds/leechmaster
Summary: Samto takes a moment to examine his past.





	Catharsis

**Author's Note:**

> ok. i know this is kinda unexpected from me, but. i guess this is how im coping with depression rn. tbh samto has canon depression and yall cant FUCKING take that from me
> 
> also. i know you've probably heard this everywhere from thousands of people, but like. you arent alone! there are hundreds of people that know what that pain feels like! its not easy holding on, but it's worth it. trust me.

Normally, Samto never looked at the night sky. There was already so much happening around him, so he never really saw the point of it all.

Tonight, however, was different.

Tonight, he gave in to the urges, sat down and stared at the night sky, if only to see what it was like. He started to see why people liked it so much. It was calming, in a way. He thought he should do this more often.

The peace didn't last.

Noticing the waxing crescent of the moon filled him with a certain... _something._ He just couldn't pin down what it was. Recalling the full moon only made it worse, because it reminded him of something he'd always thought about, but never wanted to think about.

When the moon was a waxing crescent, it could be considered broken. But it would be fixed once the full moon came around. The stars in the sky would dissappear sometimes, but they would shine again. Crops died in the winter, but would flourish in the spring.

Everything around him fixed itself when broken.  **So why couldn't he?**

Scars from his days as a gladiator adorned both his body and his soul. Scars everywhere. Scars that  **tainted** him. They reminded him of the fact that, no matter how much he tried, he would never escape from his past. It would follow him everywhere, no matter what.

There were other people. Other people that didn't feel like that. Other people that weren't ashamed of their pasts. Other people that didn't feel apathetic and empty all the time. Why couldn't he be like one of those other people?

Everything came together. And it all said the one thing he never wanted to hear.

There was something  **wrong** with him. He was **broken.**   **And nothing could ever fix him.**

But maybe. Maybe there would come a day where it didn't hurt anymore. Honestly, the only reason he hadn't ended it all long ago was that hope. Regardless, that day certainly wasn't today. And it probably wouldn't be anytime soon, either. Maybe it would come sooner than expected, or maybe it would come when he was on his deathbed.

Just knowing it would come one day was enough for him.

Maybe he just had low standards, but simply being able to live without the memories of seeing people die right in front of him would be good enough.

Life was cruel and unfair, sure. And it was all so overwhelming.

But if that was how it had to be to see the day where all the pain and nightmares ended, so be it.

**Author's Note:**

> jfc this probably came out so badddddddd this was a spontaneous fic so i didnt really do much planning out. tbh this is probably kinda cheesy but its not my fault i dont know how to describe my own fucking mental illness.
> 
> i hope this was at least readable lmao


End file.
